Military Divorce & Child Support?

I am a military wife whose soldier husband is having a questionable relationship with another woman.It's possible he may file for divorce,although there no grounds except for him wanting to be with another woman. We have 4 special needs children that attend special schooling and have daily, multiple therapies. Consequently, i have been unable to have a job or attend any kind of college. Every minute of my everyday requires the attention of my children, with at least 1 requiring it for the entirety of her life. I do not want a divorce simply because of the financial needs of the children and my inability to work outside the home.What am i entitled to as far as child support and alimony? My husband is currently E5 paratrooper with 12 years of service in. I could not even afford a lawyer if i had to. We barely make it from payday to payday.What are my rights? Can i simply refuse a divorce and remain with my children in military housing? I haven't went to his commander simply because we can't afford the loss of pay or rank it might end up resulting in. Help!!!!